Kill or Be killed

You know... I'm not really sure what to write about anymore. I'm really confused about everything. But I think I'm supposed to. Let's start with dating. I thought I've always known what I wanted but I really think I've lost all idea of what I want. The fun part? I think it's better that way, why would we get what we want? Would we like it once we have it? Or would we even know it when see it? Would it even be at the "right" time? No, we don't know what we want, we don't get to pick and choose who we fall for can we? No, so I'm going to throw out the old check list. It's time for a new idea and some new perspective. Next is time. Everyone wants more time, time to fly, or doesn't want to wait for time. Time is seriously a relative measurement, no person is really going to have an accurate measurement of time. It's only the increments we put throughout the day that actually creates time. Why couldn't we change it? If we did what would happen to time? Who knows, but if things are worth it... then aren't they worth the wait? Yes. There's no real question about that.

Life: Life is interesting and it never works out like it's supposed to. It's a game of survival and you have to protect yourself in order to survive. I've protected myself and set things up to make sure that I'm okay. Sometimes my boundaries don't see everything coming and they get broken, but I can just as easily rebuild them. Others don't really have that great of an inner psyche. i'm not new to disaster, chaos and pure sorrow. I always come out of things fine in the end.

Thoughts: I've had a strange set of thoughts lately. It's nothing but an inner circle of my own thoughts playing with my head like crazy. I think sometimes it helps but not always.

I miss the connection I had with my friends. the closeness and protective rock that I thought I had. I unfortunately no longer have that and I have to rebuild my grounds so-to-speak. It's interesting to see who really stays in your life and puts up with your shit haha.

I know who those people are now, and I'm not letting them go... not if it kills me.