This is not my history book

My name isn't written in history books, nor am I a superstar, hero or famous figure. This doesn't mean I'm insignificant. The power of thought has limitless possibilities. Most of all, it has dire consequences. I don't think like most people, I don't act like normal people and I like to live out fantasies in my head. My imagination is what brings out my personality through art, music, writing or even my language. It's uniquely linked to my inner being. Do I sound crazy? maybe. Does it matter? no, not even for the four people who may skim over this.
I don't know what I want to do with my degree, so shoot me. I'm not good in just one class, or one area. I'm flexible, diverse, cultured, innovative and hard working. It's interesting that some people still don't see that. Most do, but other things become more pertinent. I'm 20, and it's not the fact that I'm young that I don't know my future path. It's that I have so many paths to choose I just need to find the most favorable one. I'm caught in a world of pulling strings. I'm pulled here, there, everywhere. I can't wait to see where I go but that's the thing. "I" have to do it, and do it alone. Not alone as in lonely, or independent exactly. I need my family to realize the man I've become. I'm not the kid they remember or see. Our family isn't like it used to nor will it ever be the same.

I'm a pretty smart guy, not to brag. But I've got a lot of things going for me. Sometimes I use this blog when I'm down because people don't want to listen to other people's problems. Sometimes I wish it were more uplifting. At the same time, no one will know how I feel inside. Most won't care or want to offer advice. When really I want to just be held or have someone in my arms and say "It'll be okay."

Writing is my outlet, and tomorrow I'm going to try working out to see if that helps everything(not to mention improve my health). I'm more alone than I ever was before. I'm also happier and more myself than I ever have been. Once in a while, I would like for a guy that I like, to like me back, and live close. Or be there for me. Haha that would be nice.

I have a lot of friends and acquaintances, but only a few true friends. I just want my heart back, my true passion, my inner desires.

Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, usually do.