I've lost two of my best friends, and the best part is that they think it's my fault. When if they wouldn't have acted like children and FOR ONCE would've listened to what I had to say they may have seen my side. They didn't give me the benefit of the doubt and they tried to control me, they had power and influence over me. Not anymore. It's time to grow up again and see what's best for me. I'm so lost and still wish I could run to them to cry and ask for help. That won't be happening. They want nothing to do with me.
I don't deserve all that's happened to me, and there's no one to blame but them.
I also just left a relationship. It was semi-mutual and I do foresee us staying friends. But my heart still hurts. I still want to cry sometimes, but I'm okay. I'm happy with life and it's a different experience for me. It doesn't make the hurt any less but then again this isn't the worst that I've been through and I'm sure there's more to come. I'm so lucky to have Nicholas as a friend. I wouldn't know what to do otherwise.
Life isn't all it's planned out to be, nor should it be. But things change and grow... and shift. It's sad, beautiful, joyful, surprising, amazing, scary and sometimes awful. I'm glad to be here and glad I have what I have. I'm blessed, or as my gram said. I'm a chosen child of God. here to make a difference in this world.
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