Part 1

7 years ago, you asked us to make a decision. Houston, or Alaska. It changed my world forever. In so many ways, in so many places. It did things to me you'll never comprehend. First, you ripped me from my life. I was a boy, in an awkward phase. Terrified of the world. Hoping... that my decision to move to Texas would keep our family together. Looking back... I never should have let it happen. But I couldn't have seen what would happen. I left my friends, my plans, my family, my pets, my memories, and my life in Wyoming. Everything I had ever worked for. I walked away from for our family. Not for you, I did this for my sister, my brother and my mother. I've told people for years awful things about you. I've resisted the idea of liking you. I STILL hate my birthday because I've shared it with you. After we got to Texas, I was invisible to you. I remember you saying things I wasn't supposed to hear when I was standing in the same room. I remember you never being there for me. Mom was there when I cried from pure depression, you weren't. I lost 45lbs in a month, I never left the house and my only happiness was a TV show that you made fun of me for watching. I had ONE concert for band that you were invited to, you showed up late. I was inducted into JNHS at the last second and you showed up 2 names before mine was called. I'm at the last of the line. You were drunk on our birthday, you never came home and instead went to bars and out with friends. I hated Texas, and I told you that. You never noticed.

We had a meeting to tell you why we wanted to go back to Texas, and I told you that I was bullied on the bus, alone, scared, forgotten, sad, unnoticed and damaged. But you loved your job. I tried to kill myself twice in Texas, you didn't even know. I asked mom to let me move back to Wyoming over Christmas Break. I didn't want to leave grandma and grandpa's. It's still one of the only places I feel safe and at home at.

The only day in Texas that I remember feeling truly happy... was the day that Mom said she was taking me back to Wyoming. I knew that day, I would be okay. From then on I got better, I grew up fast to help Mom and be strong when I could. I cried, shut myself up in my room, hid from the world... I saw mom go through Hell, I saw Dillon destroy himself, and I saw Danielle fight to hold on to whatever she could. I worked to try and help Mom, I helped Dillon and Danielle with school. I helped Grandma and Grandpa. I worked to repair what you broke, because guess what? YOU did this. We didn't leave you. WE decided, to take our shity broken lives and save ourselves. YOU decided to stay and have the job of your dreams. What did that do to you? How could you blame my mother? The only one who was there to save me, the one who lost so much and did all of this for her kids. What did you leave? What did you give up? Remember all the old friends you don't talk to? The Family you had? You gave that up to take us to Texas, then blamed us for not liking your decisions. Your mother once told me I was a horrible son for abandoning my father. Funny part is, you are my biological father, and you were never a major part in my life for as far back as I can remember. You never really existed to me. Not as someone I wanted to invest in. you never invested in me. I went through high school praying to get out. I was alone, afraid, and broken. Then mom and Danielle were going to move back. They left me for you, and I was okay because I thought at least you could take care of them and protect them. Turns out you lied to us all and drug it out longer. Do you realize the damage you've done? Do you see what you're about to do? This is part one, of a lot of venting to come. Be prepared.