Word Vomit

I have no real idea what I'm doing. I'm about to go to Texas and have a life changing conversation. With all that's gone on I've lost a lot of my motivation. I need an answer to move on and apparently my family thinks I'm out last resort. Which makes me even more nervous.

But at the same time, some good things have happened that I'm really excited about :) Things happen in some interesting ways. I can't wait to see where things go. And I'm excited to hang out with my mom any my sister.

Reality always comes back though, school starts and I'm going to be taking a full load of classes, and an internship, and I'm applying for Summer Orientation. so many great opportunities and so many unique ways to go about things. I'm still scared. I'm still afraid of being lonely. But I have great friends. I'm hoping we can make it through things together. I'm running out of trust. Especially lately, the saying "They're an "ex" for a reason." is becoming more apparent by the second. I'm tired of the petty fights, the narcissism, the drama, irresponsibility, immaturity, disrespect and whatever the hell other reasons that irritate the living daylight out of me.

I won't stick up for you, I won't give you good recommendations and I'm tired of trying to be your friend. I think... this means... I'm done. I have more important things to worry about in the future. The one that you're obviously not a part of. I've given people far too many chances to fix things. I'm going to see that it doesn't happen again.