Dreaming in a Wonderland

I can't stay in one place for too long. I think that has a lot to do with my parents. They moved around a lot and so I think that's what led to me moving a lot. We traveled all the time when I was a little tyke. Arizona every summer, Lake Havasu for Spring Break... we lived out of our boat. I miss those days so much. My family was together and we made our own fun. I had one of the most wild imaginations of anyone I ever crossed paths with. I want that imagination back. I've locked away creativity in order to maintain composure. But now I can't maintain composure and I just want to be happy. I want life back, excitement in the small things and things I used to love. I'm slowly going back to the things I loved and finding new things :)

This year has changed me, made me adapt and appreciate people again. Matt has somehow allowed me to trust people which I was afraid I'd never get that back. I'll be forever indebted to him for that. He makes me feel like I'm so powerful, smart and can do anything. He inspires me to greatness even if he doesn't know it. The faith and beauty of that boys soul makes me truly believe angels are among us. He's a pure spirit with a pure heart. Recognizing the good in others. He should recognize the good in himself as well, because what I see is pure greatness. I'm not saying this because we're seeing each other, I'm saying it as a friend. That boy's going places.

I have a lot of hope for humanity. I have great people in my life, amazing opportunity and the passion to accomplish whatever it is comes my way. It's time for me to recognize that. I still don't believe I'm as attractive as people say, I am a harsh critic on myself, and I never feel like my accomplishments are as great as they could be. But this year it's different. I'm actually realizing that what I do is great, that it sets me apart from others and my uniqueness is actually accepted. That I'm appreciated. Angela cried when she was saying her thank you's in the SSSJ Welcome. She's been so much more than a supervisor, than a professor... she's been a mentor, an idol and a friend. She's been so amazing to me. I'm so thankful for her in my life.

I'm led down a path, with no direction to go.
The road that I chose wasn't meant to show.