Life's Little Lessons

Sometimes, pretending to be okay is worse than admitting you're hurting. Well, being put in a situation where you feel helpless doesn't help. But I really am okay. I can handle anything, just sometimes I shouldn't be the one handling it. I'm 21. I've grown up faster than most people should and the best part is that I doubt even more than four people would ever understand the background that I came from. Others have definitely had it worse and I'm not trying to belittle that, we all face trials and obstacles... my family just seemed to get them in greater intensity. They say that sacrifice is giving up something for the betterment of yourself or others... the other definition is killing to appease a deity. So did we do what we did to help our family? or were we left on the chopping block? Personally, I feel as if I was waiting in line behind Marie Antoinette. haha too soon? I can handle a lot, it's just that sometimes I prefer to talk about it and not bottle things up. I don't need advice, or a huge lecture. Just someone to listen. I usually love hearing both sides, but playing devils advocate and giving others the benefit of the doubt doesn't help the situation. Most of the time, it's because people make it seem like I never get the benefit of the doubt and I'm the irrational one. It could be my fault for not making them understand my story or point of view. Like I said, I don't have a lot of people who know that story. It's not really one I like to tell either. Eight years of torment, lies and doing nothing but trying to survive. When you're in survival mode, it's really hard to leave it and enjoy life. I had a good portion of my adolescence taken from me because I had to step up and do things that my family wouldn't or couldn't... I don't regret it, it made me who I am and I would rather be the product of a hard life than be coddled into blissful ignorance. Life isn't just being happy all the time, until you experience all the good and bad you know only a portion of what it's like to be alive. When you experience the bad emotions, you can appreciate the good so much more. Funny how life works out, even from the shadows beauty can be born. Even in light, beauty can be torn.