Life has a lot of ups and downs

People always say "it's like a roller coaster" implying bad things... funny thing is: I've always liked roller coasters.

It's not over yet...

This is the story of a girl. A long time ago, two school children met on the playground, they began playing with friends. Years down the road they had classes together, went to middle school together, friends birthday parties, dances, etc. High School separated them. Years passed as they grew up, shaped their adolescence and grew into early adulthood. The rite of passage all students take into the after-high-school stage threw these two schoolchildren into each others paths once again. The boy walked across campus, staring at the beige colored buildings, the bike racks, the light poles and the surrounding are of the College Classroom Building. Bewildered and amazed as a blast from the past came into view. He called out her name, shocked she didn't recognize him at first... then the reunion began over the course of a few months. A class together, going to dances/dinner, study dates and coffee ensued.

Fast forward through crying, Sonic Runs, baking fiascoes(I still don't use perfect measurements, concerts, adventures and shenanigans these two had grown into amazing individuals.

Here's where this short story should say "And they lived happily ever after" but it won't. This isn't any ordinary love story. I've known Kalayla since 2nd grade, in little Evanston, Wyo. From there to Houston, Boston and back we've become phenomenal leaders, amazing friends and loyal people to those around us. We were crutches, tissues, boxing bags, laughter and fun. We inspired peopls but most of all we inspired each others in so many ways. Today we had to part, she said "I don't know why I didn't think I'd have to say goodbye to you, I just thought you'd be going with me." I didn't know what it would feel like until that moment. When part of you has to move on and you need to let it. We've made it through tremendous, ridiculous things and we're still here. Crying in the parking lot, waiting to take the next step. We'll make it through. That doesn't mean my heart isn't sad that she's leaving. I'm going to miss you Kalayla. I love you so much and you will do so many amazing things! You're stronger than you think. It's not happily ever after, it's better than that. This story isn't over, and there are a lot more adventures to come :) -Not the End-

"I write because no one listens"

I write because no one listens. I saw this phrase on Facebook and realized that I may have writers block sometimes but writing is the portal to my inner thoughts. Most people never hear or get to hear my true thoughts. Most of the time people aren't listening any way. I think that's why I spend most of my time alone, or in small groups. I like my free time to relax and not have to deal with everyone else's issue on top of bottling mine. People in this town seem to use others to get what they want, someone to vent to, have sex with or just plain take out repressed aggression on to make themselves feel better. I used to spend so much time in writing and reading until I became so wrapped up in the world and experiencing things that I forgot where I developed my passion and creativity. Not only in books but in my mind. I would wake up at early hours of the morning and not sleep. Only write what I thought or felt. No reserve or holding back. Just pure thought on cyber paper, so-to-speak. I've been trying to hold onto everything, waiting until I go to London, graduate, grow up... I've been waiting to see if everything I've held onto will be released but it definitely won't. Workouts, haircuts, and not even going into my past have brought out the toxic anger lodged inside myself. I hope that I start to find a way. I've slowly started letting go and forgiving. I just hope the process speeds up a little. I'm a Safe Zone Coordinator, Student Ambassador, ASUW Senator for the College of Arts and Sciences, a Senior, a Student, a Cowboy, a Son, a Brother, a Grandson... all this seems confusing and strange that I have all these titles. I'm excited for my senior year and to study abroad... Let's see what happens after that... I can't wait :) I just hope I can let go of my anger along the way.

Discover a new world

The semester is growing closer. I cannot wait for Fall 2012! I have so much planned and so many things I wish to accomplish. That also puts me one step closer to graduation and the real world. I am so nervous but I also think it's going to be an adventure. There are too many things to look forward to so I cannot let myself be brought down by bad thoughts. Negativity is not needed. I wish that one day I'll be in a good place with my family. That one day we can be civil and understanding. I also hope I get all my "ducks" in a row in time. Getting ready for graduation in London may be a little more difficult than I am ready for. Lately I've been thinking a lot and wondering about life and such. It's funny how 3 years ago I was such a dork, quiet, shy and had low self-esteem. Now look at me, successful in college, active, hard-working, strong, passionate and driven. Growing up is a really hard thing but becoming an adult is even more strenuous. Sometimes I wonder why I am the one to have to grow up and mature so quickly but I am so thankful for it. I wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren't for the trials and hardships that I've been through. Everyone has a story, I feel like I have a novel. In the end, the decisions we make lead us to our fate but the decisions left unmade lead us to darkness and bitterness. Living life is so crucial. I'm alright. I am happy, ready, prepared, cautious, smart, worthy and excited. I may be stressed, broke and worry too much but I don't let that get to me. Sometimes I may be lonely but I love myself enough to know that I'll be okay, and hopefully my next adventures will lead me to greatness. I really want love, adventure, and to see new places. I hope that the world brings me that, even more? I hope I earn that and I'm rewarded for my efforts. After all, nice guys finish last, fortune favors the brave, patience is a virtue.... it's all about hard work, devotion and perseverance. SO love, live, and laugh at yourself. Expel negative energy, forgive people, and surround yourself with good people, good vibes and good times. Memories aren't manufactured, they're discovered.

The Fantastical

I'm a dreamer of the fantastical. I wish for things that aren't real and have an imagination most would familiarize with insanity. I love to live in my own little world. On few occasions reality and dreams intertwine. Life becomes so fun and colorful with life that I don't need to daydream because my life lives it. Other times I am perpetually lost in nightmares. Horror after horror reliving the tale as if the grim reaper himself was the narrator of my story. This all may seem overly dramatic, but it's supposed to... It's fantastical! I'm aware of reality. I don't enjoy it, but im fully aware of its implication on the imagination. It leads to some of the most amazing ideas, works of art and writing that can withstand the tests of time. In that regards, i am my own storyteller. I control the perspective of what I see and how I manage the dealings that occur I'm my stellar life. From the stars to the trees what I see is mine to see fit. Innovation and thinking outside the box leads you to new heights, adventures and discoveries. According to my, surprisingly accurate horoscope, I am meant to live in my dream world but with a price. Living in a dream world makes me forget about reality and once I'm reminded of it, I am bummed or saddened by it. I normally don't care that I daydream, it makes me more motivated to achieve the goals and inspirations that my mind can muster.

Enough

I am seriously in need of a vacation. I have such a short temper that it's insane of me to even contemplate keeping my mouth shut. I'm so tired of being treated like a child but expected to act as an adult with my life together. I drive all the way here to see my family and then they don't want to do anything, the kids are misbehaved brats, my aunts are fighting, my family is beyons dysfunctional. "Everyone's family is" that's just a fucking cop out to say "I don't want to listen to your problems" I try to be a good friend and listen but when I need someone to listen everyone either doesn't, they think I'm whining or just talk about themselves more. Once in a damn while I would like the respect I deserve. I'm seriously such an angry person lately and I don't know what to do about it. I need this lease at the Grove gone so I can move on with my life and my dreams. I cannot sit around and watch as others live the life I want. It's time to aim high and go for it. Get in shape, get good grades, and graduate. I think it's all pretty simple to get through. In the grand scheme of things. But in light of how things have gone lately then maybe it'll be a huge feat. It's time to persevere and do what I thought I couldn't. I'm not a quitter and I'm not backing down. I need to remember to breath, find what makes me happy and go for it. Even if I'm on my own. People need to advocate for themselves and start learning to live without me. I'm not leaving, but I have my own life to live. I've already wasted enough of it.

Revolution

I'm thinking of writing a novel, and I'm not sure what it'll be about nor do I care yet. But people think it's kind of weird. I'm just disappointed in the lack of curiosity and adventure some people have. With the world spiraling into chaos why not take a little risk and enjoy what life has to offer. I'm 21 and I'm not ready for life to take me too seriously just yet. Who cares if people think it's weird, or use it against me. I want to accomplish a lot and I'm not going to wait around for cool things to happen when I can do them myself. My generation doesn't do what society wants us to, or what is expected of us. We do what we want and may seem entitled but we are the generation of diversity. We have so many avenues and aspects that are so unique and different that nothing we do is the same, everything changes so rapidly we adapt, and we can't hold still or pay attention. The things that my generation can or will do are frowned upon and thought to be ridiculous but really we're innovators. Finding new ways to adapt and change perspectives on old ideas and bring about completely new information. We also have the potential to breed chaos and apathy. But as Egypt saw, we can create a revolution in 160 characters or less. The smallest of things can expand into the greatest of dimensions, growing beyond our wildest expectations.