So I’m guilty, I study people. I sit in the Union or in coffee shops, planes, airports, stores, gas stations, streets, malls, and TV and I watch people. It fascinates me! But there’s nothing like a UW College campus to get me “peeply senses” tingling. And to the Freshman Class of 2011 I congratulate you. You have not only stooped to unimaginable senses of fashion but have also confused my gaydar with your pretty faces and affinity for Hollister Brand clothing. Men I do have to give you props for your courage in wearing pink, but I now have to try 3 times as hard to sort out the gays from the pretty straight boys. Girls, every year you seem to shock me with your lack of good fashion. Everyone is entitled to their style but uggs and booty shorts in August, or anytime for that matter, are INSANELY TACKY AND SHOULD NOT BE DONE MORE THAN ONCE! If ever. The fake blondes and bad tans, guys with too baggy clothes and not enough belts, girls with bad make up, mini-skirts, form fitting leggings, unflattering tube tops… I’m not trying to be rude or judgmental but this is college, if you’re only here to look pretty and snazzy and talk in class, text about boys/girls, and still stay in your high school cliques then you are in the wrong place. College is intimidating to some, and yes humans like familiarity and stay in the safe spots but you need to branch out and find yourselves! This is your time to mess up, try new styles, learn something, grow, make your best friends and live life! If your greatest problem is, which I’ve overheard, is that you’re waiting for the “supa fine boi in Bio to text back” when you’re in Psych class you are NOT paying attention nor getting the most out of this experience. I was a Freshmen once and I’ve had my college phases but I was never a fake, I never gave into the scenes and cliques that everyone this year are so wrapped into, and I stay true to myself. There are tricks to college, the more time you spend on campus the more you’ll know. I am very overly involved and I know a few tricks and can’t wait to learn more. In that regards if you think you can tell me you’re too stressed after your naps and large meals, parties and concerts then you and I are seeing college on 2 very different levels. My idea of tired and your laziness are nowhere near on the same page. I get that it’s a transition and blah, blah, blah but this is no place to sit and waste time whining. I learned fast because in college it’s do or die. Some of you may be learning that faster than you think. I may sound mean and bitter, maybe it’s because I’m a sarcastic asshole sometimes but I do not pretend to be a know-it-all. I just know my experiences, the experiences of others and anecdotal proof of previous students. Most of us are here for you if you need help. I do enjoy helping others and most of us won’t laugh at your questions and are genuinely going to point you in the right direction. In that regard upperclassmen are some of your greatest resources. Just know that YOU are not in charge, YOU have not worked through what we have and if YOU choose disrespect over courteously you’ll find out quickly that this is a small campus and some will vote you off the island. Good luck and God speed newbies. I’ll be seeing you around campus.
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