War

You...have just... waged a war. See funny thing is? I judge you. I know I shouldn't and I try not to but you make it beyond easy. Easier than lighting a firecracker. Maybe if you wouldn't of lied to me, over and over, told rumors about me and told people to "stay away from me" I could actually see you as a person. But now, the tables are finally turned. I would be careful of how fake nice you are to me next time. You've played your hand, but you have no game. The only way I'm not plotting ways to seek revenge on you is because no one listens to you and you have 0 credibility.

Karma will come for you, and I hope it's 3 fold. Be prepared. You were a boy when we met, and you grew down. You narcissistic prick. I'm about to revitalize your face, with my tarnished brand.

new

I think I need to start living for myself. I thought that I have been doing that since I started college but really I had just been allowed to have freedom due to circumstances. It's time to realize what's best for me. So in doing that, I should be able to reach my freedom. It may be hard, but the lines need to be drawn.

On a lighter note? I'm elated over something. Or someone rather. No details are necessary yet. But it brightens my day :)

School is great and my internship rocks! I just need to catch up on some homework tomorrow and I'll be good to go. :)

Things are great.

Fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. :)

This is not my history book

My name isn't written in history books, nor am I a superstar, hero or famous figure. This doesn't mean I'm insignificant. The power of thought has limitless possibilities. Most of all, it has dire consequences. I don't think like most people, I don't act like normal people and I like to live out fantasies in my head. My imagination is what brings out my personality through art, music, writing or even my language. It's uniquely linked to my inner being. Do I sound crazy? maybe. Does it matter? no, not even for the four people who may skim over this.
I don't know what I want to do with my degree, so shoot me. I'm not good in just one class, or one area. I'm flexible, diverse, cultured, innovative and hard working. It's interesting that some people still don't see that. Most do, but other things become more pertinent. I'm 20, and it's not the fact that I'm young that I don't know my future path. It's that I have so many paths to choose I just need to find the most favorable one. I'm caught in a world of pulling strings. I'm pulled here, there, everywhere. I can't wait to see where I go but that's the thing. "I" have to do it, and do it alone. Not alone as in lonely, or independent exactly. I need my family to realize the man I've become. I'm not the kid they remember or see. Our family isn't like it used to nor will it ever be the same.

I'm a pretty smart guy, not to brag. But I've got a lot of things going for me. Sometimes I use this blog when I'm down because people don't want to listen to other people's problems. Sometimes I wish it were more uplifting. At the same time, no one will know how I feel inside. Most won't care or want to offer advice. When really I want to just be held or have someone in my arms and say "It'll be okay."

Writing is my outlet, and tomorrow I'm going to try working out to see if that helps everything(not to mention improve my health). I'm more alone than I ever was before. I'm also happier and more myself than I ever have been. Once in a while, I would like for a guy that I like, to like me back, and live close. Or be there for me. Haha that would be nice.

I have a lot of friends and acquaintances, but only a few true friends. I just want my heart back, my true passion, my inner desires.

Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, usually do.

I love this story

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes .
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'
They really should get lives.
' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
With my friends .
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never
Be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak .
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school..
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled....
' Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began ...
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends....
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.





Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.

Look for God in others.

Right where they should be

I used to just write when I was stressed, or needed to put my thoughts into the universe. From now on, I'm hoping to write more. About everything. First off, my semester is going pretty great. I love most of my classes, things seem to flow easier and I'm able to keep up so far when I thought I would be overwhelmed. I can't wait to see what the semester holds! I have Unstable Minds, Weather and Climate, Health Communication, News Reporting and Writing, Advanced Human Communication Theory, and an internship. I'm also excited to see what happens in my clubs! Especially Active Minds and Spectrum! This is going to be a great semester!

So, there's this new guy in my life. Really recent. He's a little bit older than me(not that it's a big thing for me) but he is unlike any person I've ever met. Tall, gorgeous, intelligent, driven, caring, funny... basically if there's a definition of perfection he's as close as it gets. He thinks that my age is a problem, or that I'm too good to be true. Which are both valid things to think. I guess, especially, when it comes to me that could be normal. I really enjoy his company, his humor, motivation, smile, eyes... everything. I'm hoping he gives me a chance. I think I'm a good guy, and I know that he is. I can feel it.

My mind keep racing about a lot of things, and now it's starting to be more clear. I slowly feel like things are right where they should be.

My mind races through so many thoughts, it's really hard to control or decipher them. I used to be so in tune with myself. I don't remember what happened when all of the sudden I didn't know myself very well. I'll always know my defining qualities. But my inner mind is a world plunged into a whirlwind. Lately I've noticed more things here and there, bringing me back. I'm hoping the path stays that way and I can get back into the swing of things like I used to. :) here's hoping!

locked

I keep having a hard time writing, once I start a sentence or a new line... it seems almost impossible to continue. Like my mind doesn't want me to get anything out and post it. My mind is tired. I usually can't get thoughts to stop racing through my head and now I feel as if I've locked them into a box that is going to take a lot of effort to open. Who knows what's going on, or why this is happening. I just hope I can shake it off soon and purge back into the written world.