Searching

Lost in thought, I seem to worry. Run around, forever in hurry. Little moments in between, snowflakes, leaves, dew drops glean. Remind me of a simpler place, A place in fantasy I can't erase. Know the truth and look within, Tomorrow's adventure will soon begin.

Control

I can't save the world, I am not perfect. I can, however, make a difference. I spread myself too thin. Why? because I thought it's what I do. I realized now that it's more about what people don't do. There's a deficit of workers, there are more people concerned about their looks and their social ties than working hard to earn their worth or make a difference. In my generation, I'm a dying breed. A leader of all sorts just doing what I can. It's not enough though. I'm one man, standing on the notion that others will be the safety net. They won't though, not enough to stop the force of impact without hurting others. So I strive for more, I push myself and us my past as motivation. I slip up a lot, make mistakes, do things I shouldn't and waste time. Who doesn't? But I try not to waste YOUR time. I try to be there and do what's asked of me but sometimes it doesn't work out as planned. That's when you take a step back, reevaluate and try again. Perseverance doesn't fail you, even if you fail. For standing in the face of adversity is the true strength a person can thrive on. I work too hard on things I can't control. One day I'll slow down and mellow out. Until then, I'll continue to us my youth to do all I can, be goofy and try too hard at things that I laugh at myself for anyway. That's something that I miss though. Really laughing. I think that after these last few years I've just changed my perspective on things too much that my "funny bone" has been a little damaged. I want it back, I miss laughing at the most ridiculous things. It's slowly coming back, my real, full on, loud chipmunk laugh... Oh boy am I awkward. Thanks to Kalayla's pictures and some texts throughout the day(and social committee) I get some great laughs in. I'm working on a balance of life, school life and me. I'm closer than I've ever been to it and one day soon I'll reach it. Just in time to relax and study in London for a semester. Then it's time for the real world and life to become better than I have been and exceed my own expectations... Look out world... here I come. PS: Wine was consumed in the making of this message... really classy wine.