Looking back on love

It's been a while since I've posted something.  Tonight has me thinking... about a lot of things and how far I've come.  So this guy and I have been hanging out, and we've been talking.  I finally am realizing how much my perspective on men/guys have changed over my jaded years. Although I haven't been dating long(4 years), I used to be so happy about it and pumped! Coffee dates were a weekly occurrence some months for me.  Now people hang out with me 4-5 times and start talking serious. Too serious.  This normally would be something flattering and I'd brush it off and see where things went.  Now, I didn't even notice this guy, or the last few, REALLY liked me.  I thought it was the "figure this guy out" stage and apparently I'm a few steps behind.  We are now on the same page after talking a little but man am I in a new territory.  Not in the dating sense but the navigating myself sense.  He mentioned that he hopes I'm single when I come back from California and that is great! But I'm not honestly sure what I want out of this. I like that things are going slow, and that's new for me.  I just have no idea what I really think about it. I don't really think of dating. Yeah I dream about the perfect guy, but I don't think about how much time is needed to make these relationships work.  The texting, the flirting, what to say and not to say. I don't even think of all the "rules" everyone tells me about. I can't stand the whole "if he texts you first today you should text first tomorrow."  How about I text back whenever the hell I feel like it.  Not in a mean way, but really.  If things are meant to work and I have an interest things will happen naturally. I'm sure I'll figure it out and make sense of it all eventually but i just don't even know where I'm at in life right now.  Guess we'll see.