Rambling thoughts on the tube

I can't explain how I feel things out about people so easy but it's how and why I believe in the supernatural. We're all made with potential to do phenomenal things and receive amazing gifts it's up to us to use them.
The amount of time you spend dwelling on things that can't change and that are beyond your control just deter you from getting to the next step of your life. It takes small little moments to change someone's life and half the time you don't even know the impact you're having. Im constantly told that I inspire others just by my presence alone. I didn't notice that until seeing the amazing people that came to talk to me before I came to London, the messages I received, and the great people that I've met here. Most of the time I've had a drink or two and I let me mind wander...apparently it brings out the good in me and allows me to share it with others. Taylor said its the way I relate to others and have experienced so much that I attract others to me so I can teach them something. The teacher appears when the student is ready. Maybe that's why I only stay in people's lives for a brief time and then we go our ways. Not because of ending on a bad note but more that I'm just a stepping stone or it's the moments our strings of fate have been woven together. Through those minuscule moment so feel like I have learned and benefitted from every person I've come into contact with. It's hard to see it at times but even those who upset us most teach us the best lessons.
I'm not afraid of pain, loss, or disappointment. Those just make me fight for my goals even more. I feel like people never give themselves enough credit... I sure don't. There's a lot that I love about myself but I'm afraid to admit them because I don't want it to go to my head.
In an attempt to change my life and how I see things I'm becoming a more positive person. I'm trying to change how I see and think about things in order to gain a new perspective into a world that may be lacking a lot more than people realize: love, hope, and safety. But if I end up loving myself and others success will come. Dreams will follow but wishing only gets you part of the way there.
If you surround yourself with positive people then the domino effect occurs. Others become more positive , nicer, happier... And then from there things should only grow and spread

Too Blind to See It

Something that I wrote before I came to London. I was sitting at home, in my old house wondering where and when my life would take off like everyone said it would. Too bad I was too blind to see it already had :) "Being here is like recognizing a shadow... Cast in an off shade of grey. A fuzzy impact between light and dark. Every time I come back I understand why I left. A desolate, unchanging place. People are supposed to be afraid of change and difference. I embrace it. My memory has sure faded from jumping off the haystack and running around the mountain, things changed... Shifted and altered its meaning. It's feeling. I used to belong here for a time. I then became aware that there was a bigger plan for me. Beyond my own knowing. Opportunity knocks and I answer. There's the saying you can take the boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of the boy. That may be completely true. But I've never been a country boy. I'm a beach rat in cowboys dust. A little part of my old history. A book long closed, stuck on a shelf to rarely be opened again. The next book has yet to be written... The pages left untouched by the harsh, scratchy stroke of a pen. There inlies the opportunity. The blank pages yet to be created... Leaps and bounds of grandeur." Coming to another country has been so amazingly imapctful and today, I don't want to talk about being abroad or how weird it is. I want to talk about how much I appreciate because of this. I have songs and smells that remind me of the greatest memories, sights that bring me to tears and render me speechless, and moments that I am so happy to share with one of my best friends; Taylor. I keep thinking of all the great things that have happened to me and that I'm so thankful to still be in contact with my friends back home. They remind me everyday how loved I am and how much love I get to go back to when I come home in 30 days. The clock is winding down and although I'm really stressed a lot and sometimes complain more than I should today I'm going to try and change that... it 's time to start being positive even if it hurts. Emotions are contagious and I plan on being a plague :) On the bus this morning to took my headphones out to just listen. I heard a mother consoling her children, a guy humming to a simple tune, street cars, birds, sirens, dogs barking and the leaves blowing around with trash in the wind. It was beautiful. Don't take anything for granted and when you're freaking out and don't know what to do; stop and breathe. You'll realize it's all just small things and then deal and move on. Life is so amazing and when I get back to the states every person I see is getting a huge hug! Not everyone... maybe I should stick to people that I know.