My Family Tree may be trimmed from time to time but that doesn't mean there aren't new branches to grow

I'm starting to realize and understand certain aspect of my life more and more. I used to think I had a handle on things but then I realized that this world is so dynamic that it's not about how well prepared you are, it's about how well you handle yourself in the moment. I've tried rationalizing others opinions in my head, why they do things, what drove them to it, and I finally had an epiphany... I don't care. They can think, feel and say all they want but it doesn't matter. I'm becoming indifferent to parts of what others say because I know the truth. I owned up to my mistakes and waited for the consequences. Nothing happened other than a few minor events that will pass through my memory before the years over. I know who truly belongs in my life and people come in and out of it for a reason.

My gram tells me from time to time that "family is forever, friends will come and go" I should've paid more attention than I had. I miss my family a lot and we've grown apart over the years. Drifting into our own places and doing our own things. I miss them a lot. Some of my best memories are with my family.

Gram and Gramp Skinner: they practically are my second set of parents. They've saved me more times than I can count, and they always remember to call. They taught me some of the greatest life lessons that I'll forever be indebted to them for. Their house is the only place in the world that I can truly feel at home. Not that other places aren't great but it's the one place I can feel in my soul that I belong and am welcome.

Gram and Grandpa Tate: From you I learned the simple parts of life that make things great, from picking raspberries to arrowheads. I miss making hot rolls, and spending weekends with Gram just watching TV together while she crocheted . To this day Grandpa is the only one to call me BC. I won't ever forget that, or the smell of their house in Evanston. I miss them both. I should probably call gram more often haha.

Mom and Dad: I love my parents. We've had some rocky times but I thank God, every chance I get, that they're still in my life. I have my mom's passion and creativity with my dad's intelligence and work ethic. They amaze me, in all that they've done and all that they've done for my family. I miss them all the time, especially my mom, I was always a momma's boy. I get to see them once in a while when I can but I wished that I could be closer to them and see them more often. I get to see them in less than 24 hours and I cannot wait!

Dillon: Oh what to say about Dillon... well... he may be stubborn and irritating from time to time but I love him. I'm proud of where he's gotten himself in his career path and all he's done with work. He's my big brother and I still feel like he's better than me haha I guess it's a sibling thing that won't go away. I miss our stupid jokes, and riding with g-pa. Back in the bonfire days. When it was just so easy and simple. You knew your place at that age.

Danielle: Oh you little turd. Haha I do love you even though we haven't gotten along since you were born. I miss having stupid fun with you on all of our trips and watching stupid movies together. haha. You've accomplished a lot through some really rough times and I'm so proud of you. Sometimes you do some things that make me shake my head but that doesn't mean I'm not proud. I love you.

Mel, Shane, Bridger, and Beeb: Haha oh geez, you Crittendens. I'm so thankful for the summer I spent with you. It was one of the greatest summers to date because I spent it with family and I had a chance to find more out about myself. I'll never forget Shane telling me to go for my dreams on New Years back when I was 16 or 17 that's stuck with me all through college, my dreams have shifted but I'm still going for them. I've always looked up to you Melanie. You've always amazed me and we've had some of the greatest times I can remember haha. I even miss you too Bridger and Brayden. You can be little turds but I like taking you to the pond and parks just like your mom used to do for me as a kid.

Cory, Kevan, Abbie, Owan: I don't get to see you guys very often and I'm hoping I can change that soon. But I do wish I could see more of you guys. I miss watching movies and talking to you Cory, I no longer have a scary movie partner to laugh at during the movies and rub the comb during the grudge ;) haha and Kevan you are always fun to be around haha. Prank calling me back in the day and playing Tekken with us. That is still the best game to date that I've ever played. Abbie and Owan you are some of the most creative and interesting kids I've met. Always into new hobbies and activities and you're always having fun. I admire that innocence.

Scott, Audrey, Kade, Mindy, Nat, Snoopy, Pepper, Emme: I miss spring breaks with you guys and going to Lake Powell. Those are some of the best times I remember on family vacations. Going all the way back to seeing the Hoover Dam and Reno for the family reunion/Great Gram Skinners birthday party. Kade and Nat you and I had some of the dumbest fun I can remember. Kade you and I would drive the whoopie and go to the mud pit, camp out, sing to the CD's in the car until 2am and watch Charmed until we couldn't stay up. Naaaaaaaaat!! I think you and I have seen enough scary movies to scar freddie kruger. Hopkins class, hunan, having gram call us out, chinese fire drills and taking the fourwheeler :) haha great great times. Mindy, we had a blast in high school and I had so much fun at your and Kade's wedding. I'm glad you're now apart of the family :)

now I know I've missed a lot but this is just off the top of my head I just want you all to know how much I appreciate you all :)

there are some other members o my family.

Kelsey, Lindsay, and the Brinkerhoffs: You guys are my oldest friends, we've made it though everything since I was 5. even the handcuff incident ;) haha from playing dinosaurs, chicken, barbies, in the mud at the park, the "frog ponds" and riding bikes we still talk like we never left each other. haha you are the funniest people I've ever met and I cannot stop laughing when I'm around you two. never a dull moment :) I love you guys.

Christina: You've been the greatest friend to me since I've met you. I miss our talks and you always know just what to say whether I want to hear it or not. From Karaoke to Concerts and Kathy Griffin I won't forget the time I spent with you. I love you so much you're my big sister! and PS we need to road trip it soon.

Uncle Pat, Aunt Jill, Ethan and Eli: You are the cutest family in the world, not to mention the best chaperones in the history of high school trips. Ever since the grand canyon you guys have always been my favorites! When you didn't even know Kade and I weren't in the car because we didn't bug the hell out of you and shove licorice in your ears. Hawaii was amazing... falling on turtles, Jill getting pissed, volleyball, coffee, and hiking through VOG. You guys are amazing and I've always thought of you as family even though I haven't seen you guys in about a year. Ethan and Eli are the cutest kids ever! and Ethan is so amazingly smart that I can't even believe it at times. You guys are the awesome Curries!

Mary and John: You guys have been so good to me over the years. Currie you made some high school bearable and took me on some of the most amazing trips that I will never forget. You were one of my best friends in high school and one of two teachers that I actually trusted. I loved being your TA for like.... 2.5 years haha. and taking your classes helped me out so much in college I appreciate everything you've done for me Currie. They always say that it takes one teacher to make or break your academic career. guess which one you were? ;) Love you C-Dawg! Hawaii soon? I think so

Jordyn!: Oh Jordyn, we've met one time for one day and you and I have pretty much talked non stop for a year now. You're so funny and amazing and I love you! I consider you family and one of y best friends even though we're so far apart we are still great friends. and I WILL beat you at scrabble one day...

if I didn't mention others it doesn't mean that I don't love you or consider you family these are just the ones that have been most on my mind and the ones i put into this entry.

Connecting the dots

Finding new connections is never easy, but it's going to be a process that many have to follow throughout their life. It's also a great opportunity that many don't take once they receive them. I've learned throughout MY life that you have to take every opportunity that you can, how else can you learn and grow unless you do something with your life that you may have not planned for. My parents always taught me to try everything even though you may not like it at first, I spent year doing things that I didn't think were fun or exciting but they shaped me and panned out in the end. They helped me out a lot now that I'm in college and now I realize that once again my time has come to figure things out again on my own. I've always done what I had to in order to protect myself. Now it's once again coming back to throw me into a pit of uncertainty. It's also when I'm at my best and most dedicated. So I'm taking this as a new sign of hope and reason. I grow, learn and become a great guy after all of these events.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/37PJ1x/www.marcandangel.com/2011/05/15/111-lessons-life-taught-us/

StumbleUpon

Feeling pretty inspirational and I'm loving this website on stumbleupon

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/9tgT3F/www.fromupnorth.com/2010/10/inspiration-gallery-139-various-quotations/

if you got to www.stumbleupon.com and make a profile you'll find the most amazing assortment of websites that will blow your mind!

That's neither here nor there

I've always been told that I'm strong, or that "you're so strong, I don't know how you do it" when really it's just in my nature to try and move past things that would otherwise hold me back. I grew up fast, I've dealt with a lot and I've got so much more to experience in life. I'm still strong. The good traits that I picked up from my family have always taught me that things will be okay, and I can make it through anything. I've almost committed suicide, moved 12 times, had my heart broken, been beaten, had my friends step on me and kick me when I was down, testified in front of congress, cried myself to sleep and a world of other things happen to me. I'm still here, fighting for something I don't even have yet. :)

hahahaha I had to write this down. I've always thought that some people learn their lessons. Turns out they're so stupid that they don't. Once I Facebook stalk and see pictures and comments making fun of me and then I see pictures of people making a fool of themselves and saying the most immature, arrogant, stupid shit I laugh so hard it hurts. Lessons learned? Not even quite... which means that by the time they learn their lesson it'll be so late that they won't be able to salvage anything. So make your jokes toward me and my friends because you're a bigger joke than I'll ever be.

Kill or Be killed

You know... I'm not really sure what to write about anymore. I'm really confused about everything. But I think I'm supposed to. Let's start with dating. I thought I've always known what I wanted but I really think I've lost all idea of what I want. The fun part? I think it's better that way, why would we get what we want? Would we like it once we have it? Or would we even know it when see it? Would it even be at the "right" time? No, we don't know what we want, we don't get to pick and choose who we fall for can we? No, so I'm going to throw out the old check list. It's time for a new idea and some new perspective. Next is time. Everyone wants more time, time to fly, or doesn't want to wait for time. Time is seriously a relative measurement, no person is really going to have an accurate measurement of time. It's only the increments we put throughout the day that actually creates time. Why couldn't we change it? If we did what would happen to time? Who knows, but if things are worth it... then aren't they worth the wait? Yes. There's no real question about that.

Life: Life is interesting and it never works out like it's supposed to. It's a game of survival and you have to protect yourself in order to survive. I've protected myself and set things up to make sure that I'm okay. Sometimes my boundaries don't see everything coming and they get broken, but I can just as easily rebuild them. Others don't really have that great of an inner psyche. i'm not new to disaster, chaos and pure sorrow. I always come out of things fine in the end.

Thoughts: I've had a strange set of thoughts lately. It's nothing but an inner circle of my own thoughts playing with my head like crazy. I think sometimes it helps but not always.

I miss the connection I had with my friends. the closeness and protective rock that I thought I had. I unfortunately no longer have that and I have to rebuild my grounds so-to-speak. It's interesting to see who really stays in your life and puts up with your shit haha.

I know who those people are now, and I'm not letting them go... not if it kills me.